LOVING HUSBANDS

 

At a Men’s conference, an elderly minister once asked all the participants a simple question: Do you love your wife? Every man responded with a resounding YES. They all understood the biblical command for husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for her (Ephesians 5:25-27).

However, the minister challenged them further: “If I had just five minutes alone with your wives, you might find that they don’t all agree with your answer.” He wasn’t doubting that these men genuinely loved their wives. Rather, he questioned whether they loved their wives in ways that truly made their wives feel loved.

A loving husband sees his role in marriage as reflecting the love of Jesus Christ for the Church. Scripture says of Jesus, “Having loved His own who were in the world, He loved them to the end” (John 13:1, NKJV). Similarly, a loving husband is committed to loving his wife to the very end. This is God’s will, but it is a commitment that Satan will challenge. Sadly, many men give up, choosing passivity, separation, or divorce instead of persevering in this role.

Succeeding as a loving husband requires more than just heart preparation; it requires skill. Loving your wife is not only about your feelings but also about understanding how she experiences love. Most men love their wives the way they themselves want to be loved, but women often feel love differently. Therefore, being a loving husband demands both a heart full of love and the wisdom to know what makes your wife feel loved.

This wisdom is a gift from the Holy Spirit, because sometimes even your wife may not fully understand what she needs. The Bible instructs husbands to “dwell with your wives with understanding” (1 Peter 3:7). Husbands must seek God’s guidance to learn how to love their wives in ways that truly resonate with them.

The Bible offers some hints about what this love looks like, but it’s important to recognize that loving your wife the way she wants to be loved will not come naturally. It must be learned and practiced. Here are some ways you can make your wife feel loved:

• Communicate through your actions, choices, words, and attitude that she is the most important person in your life.
• Speak highly of her in front of others.
• Never harbour bitterness; always reassure her of your love and pray with her after difficult times.
• Express genuine appreciation for all she does.
• Apologize sincerely and admit when you are wrong.
• Never dismiss her feelings, even if they seem illogical to you.
• Give her your full attention and share your thoughts and feelings openly with her.

There may be many other ways specific to your wife that will make her feel loved. It is your responsibility to discover these and love her accordingly. Isn’t it comforting to know that just as Jesus knows and meets the needs of every sheep in His fold, loving husbands can also grow in their ability to meet the needs of their wives?

No husband can fulfil every need perfectly, but every husband can invest in increasing his capacity to love well. Loving husbands commit to making this investment.

THE MARRIAGE PROPOSAL

THE MARRIAGE PROPOSAL

How should marriage be proposed, and who should initiate the proposal? Many people believe that both the man and the woman have an equal right to propose marriage to each other. However, the pattern presented in Scripture does not support this conclusion.

This misunderstanding often arises from an incorrect interpretation of the first biblical passage on marriage. Scripture declares:

"Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24, NKJV).

Many assume this verse means that both the man and the woman leave their respective families to establish a new home. Yet the text explicitly mentions only the man leaving. He leaves the authority of his parents to establish a new household, becoming its earthly head while remaining directly accountable to Christ, his Head (1 Corinthians 11:3).

The woman, on the other hand, is not portrayed as independently leaving her father's authority. Rather, she is transferred from the authority of her father to that of her husband, a principle reflected in Numbers 30:1–8. This understanding also explains the long-standing custom of a woman taking her husband's family name after marriage, signifying her new household identity.

From the very beginning, God assigned the man the responsibility of leadership within the family. Reversing or blurring this order has significant consequences for both the family and society. Part of this leadership responsibility is taking the initiative to propose marriage.

Before proposing, a man should prayerfully seek God's direction until he is persuaded that he is being led toward a particular woman. Wise counsel from a pastor or mature Christian mentor may also help clarify his conviction. Having reached that conviction, he should approach the woman with humility, sincerity, and without any form of manipulation or pressure.

He should avoid statements such as, "God told me you are my wife," which can place undue spiritual pressure on the woman. Instead, he may simply say, "I have prayed about this and am convinced that God is leading me to you as the woman I should marry. Will you marry me?"

The woman should then prayerfully seek God's guidance and consult trusted spiritual counselors before giving her answer. While she should not rush such an important decision, neither should she prolong her response unnecessarily, as extended silence may reasonably be interpreted as a refusal.

Some may object to this position by pointing to Ruth's approach to Boaz as an example of a woman proposing marriage. Such an interpretation overlooks the legal and cultural context of ancient Israel.

According to the customs governing the kinsman-redeemer, Ruth was not free to marry just anyone after the death of her husband. Eligible male relatives first had the responsibility and the right to redeem her by marriage. Naomi therefore instructed Ruth to present herself to Boaz at the threshing floor because he was one of those qualified relatives.

When Ruth approached him, Boaz did not interpret her actions as an ordinary marriage proposal. Rather, he acknowledged his covenant responsibility toward her and commended her loyalty and godliness. Nevertheless, he informed her that another relative had a prior legal claim. Boaz therefore brought the matter before that nearer relative in the presence of the city elders. Only after the nearer kinsman publicly declined his right of redemption did Boaz lawfully marry Ruth (Ruth 4:1–13).

Consequently, this passage should not be understood as establishing a biblical pattern for women to initiate marriage proposals. Certainly, there have been instances where women have proposed marriage and the marriages have flourished. However, successful outcomes do not establish biblical principles. It is the commands, teachings, and patterns of Scripture that determine Christian practice.

Although Scripture presents the man as the one who should initiate the proposal, the woman can make it easier for him to approach her. Often, a woman recognizes before the man speaks that he is interested in her. If she is also interested, or open to considering him, she can encourage his approach through grace, respect, kindness, and humility. Such attitudes help reduce his fear of rejection.

Sadly, some women unintentionally project an attitude or facial expression that communicates, "Don't come near." Ironically, many of them inwardly hope that a suitable man will pursue them despite the signals they are sending. Unfortunately, many men simply accept those signals at face value, and a potentially fruitful relationship may never begin.

Ultimately, whom you marry is your responsibility and your choice, provided that, if you are a believer, you marry another believer (1 Corinthians 7:39). Yet while the choice is yours, God desires to guide you toward the wisest choice. Therefore, the righteous take seriously the exhortation of Scripture:

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths" (Proverbs 3:5–6, NKJV). 

By Dr. Ifiok Ukobo

Compatibility in Christian Marriage

Is compatibility between husband and wife of any real value in a Christian marriage? Yes—but in a very specific sense. A Christian is called to marry “in the Lord,” that is, to marry a fellow believer. Scripture makes this clear: “A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 7:39, NKJV). While there is freedom of choice, it is bounded by one essential requirement—shared faith in Christ.

This is crucial because true incompatibility exists at the level of nature and the values that nature produces. A person’s submission to God shapes how they see the world; their worldview forms their priorities, their priorities shape their values, and their values ultimately produce their character. When a believer, who is a new creation in Christ is joined to an unbeliever, the result is a fundamental mismatch—what Scripture describes as an unequal yoke (2 Corinthians 6:14). Such unions often lead to deep conflict and are best avoided.

But what about differences between two genuine Christians? These differences certainly exist, yet they are not true incompatibilities. They usually concern preferences, temperaments, or perspectives—not core values. For such differences, Scripture gives clear guidance: “with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love” (Ephesians 4:2–3, NKJV). The issue, then, is not incompatibility of nature but unwillingness of heart. What we often label “incompatibility” among Christians is, in reality, a refusal to yield, adjust, and love sacrificially.

It is wise to exercise discernment and freedom at the stage of choosing a spouse. Once married, however, that freedom gives way to responsibility. The success of the marriage then depends on each partner’s response to God—choosing, out of reverence for Him, to make room for one another. In this sense, what appears to be a compatibility problem is often an obedience issue.

The good news is this: when both spouses are truly submitted to Christ, they are under the same Lord and guided by the same Spirit. No matter the initial challenges, obedience to God will bring alignment and resolution. As both yield to His direction, difficulties lose their power, and the enemy’s attempts to divide them are defeated.

Marriages outside of Christ present a different challenge altogether. Without a shared authority in God, unity becomes difficult to sustain. For those in such situations, the starting point is repentance and faith in Jesus Christ. From there, seeking biblical counsel and guidance becomes essential for building a stable and God-centered home.

By Dr. Ifiok Ukobo

When Love is Alive

The songwriter once said, “Where there is love, the shadows are all friendly, and evil finds no place to hide a fear.” That’s exactly what the Bible means when it says love believes the best about others, love covers a multitude of sins, and perfect love casts out all fear. This is the kind of love God had in mind for husbands and wives. It’s also the same love that purchased our redemption, gave us a home in heaven, made us part of God’s family, and even gave us His name—all while we were still sinners. As Scripture says, “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8, NKJV).

This is the love Christ shares with His Church forever. And through marriage, we’re given a glimpse—a foretaste—of that eternal love. It’s not something we can manufacture on our own. Human love, while capable of kindness, is ultimately self-centered. It often gives in hopes of receiving something in return. But divine love is different. It doesn’t look to the person being loved for a reward—it looks to God, the One who commands us to love, and it receives its strength from Him.

This kind of love is possible only because Christ’s love has been poured into our hearts. Sadly, many Christian couples still operate out of selfish, human love. It’s no surprise, then, that their love feels lifeless—or barely alive. Divine love thrives only when Christ is truly Lord of our lives. God’s solution to every problem is the same: make Christ Lord. And that includes your love life. Love your spouse the way Christ loved us—even when we were broken, unworthy, and hard to love.

We can’t fully experience Christ’s love while clinging to values and behaviors that oppose Him. It’s like trying to run a gasoline car on diesel—it simply won’t work. But when the Lordship of Christ fuels your love for one another, something beautiful happens: love comes alive. The hurting find comfort, and broken hearts are held close until the tears dry. In that kind of love, the shadows feel safe, fear has nowhere to hide, despair melts in the warmth of care, and hope rises like an eagle.

As we remember this season that Christ, our Passover Lamb, was sacrificed for us, may your new life in Him be a daily celebration of love and mercy, in Jesus’ name.

By Pastor Ifiok Ukobo 

EMBRACE CHRISTIAN EDUCATION FOR YOUR CHILDREN

The Bible teaches, “Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth” (Psalm 127:4). Just as arrows must be sharpened and aimed, children need to be shaped and guided with purpose. An education grounded in the Judeo-Christian tradition and rooted in biblical values serves not only to sharpen children intellectually but also to direct them along the right path in life.

There are various forms of education, but not all lead children in the same direction. Education shapes a child’s worldview, which in turn forms their values and ultimately their character. What is taught in classrooms today will influence the values society embraces tomorrow.

During the 1960s and 70s, the sexual revolution swept through Europe and America, gaining momentum largely through the education system. In the United States, Bible reading and prayer were removed from public schools, while alternative sexual lifestyles were introduced and normalized by educators. What began as fringe ideas has now become mainstream and, in many cases, legally protected and promoted. As Abraham Lincoln once said, “The philosophy of the schoolroom in one generation will be the philosophy of government in the next.” Sadly, this has proven true.

When children are properly shaped and guided, they grow into individuals who can build and protect our communities. They become the innovators and problem-solvers of society—the ones who stand against threats at the gate. Scripture celebrates those who raise such children: “Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their opponents in court” (Psalm 127:5).

But if we neglect to educate our children rightly, we risk raising a generation that unknowingly aids the very forces working against biblical truth. Education should equip them with the skills and understanding of how God’s creation operates, enabling them to fulfill the divine mandate to steward and replenish the earth for His glory and for the good of all.

May God grant Christian school owners and parents the grace to work together in providing an education that not only sharpens children for life but also directs them to stand firm against anything contrary to biblical values and true human flourishing. May our children never become arrows that wound us instead. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

By Pastor Ifiok Ukobo 

Biblical Worldview Discipleship Opportunity

LIFEBUILDERS BIBLICAL WORLDVIEW DISCIPLESHIP
What is it about?

LIFE BUILDER'S DISCIPLESHIP IS OUR RESPONSE TO THE MASTER'S INVITATION.

      Discipleship occurs in the context of an invitation. The master (Jesus) invites us to see things through His eyes, and wants us to respond by committing to learn from Him, together with others who follow Him. The outcome of this commitment to Him would be a total game changer for us. Jesus said, “If therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light.” (Matt 6:22 KJV). In other words, we would not only arrive at the same conclusions with our lord Jesus Christ, but we would also live the same life He lived. At Life Builders Discipleship, we respond to the master's (Jesus) invitation by evaluating all of life (knowledge, ideas, practices, philosophies, principles, etc.) from Jesus’ perspective.

Join us as we meet online, specifically 2nd and 4th Saturdays of every month, 9pm - 10pm (GMT+1).

At Life Builders Discipleship, participation is free but resolute commitment is required. Every group member is recommended to take part fully in every session as the studies are interactive with free study materials. As the discipleship session is online, every group member will need a good Bible, a good internet connection by phone or laptop, and ear plugs for undisturbed communication.

To participate, fill out an application form here. You'll get a feedback with details on your participation.


About Pastor Ifiok Ukobo.

                Ifiok Ukobo, together with his wife, is a full time missionary at Lifebuilders Resource. He served as Vice Provost for Academics at Africa Centre for Theological Studies until 2009 when he resigned to give more attention to field discipleship. He continues to function at the institution as an adjunct faculty till date. He is the founder of Think Right and Live Right Club and Lifebuilders Resource, two ministry streams that resource Christian leadership in the Education Sector, the Church, and the general community.
                He has been involved in the training ministries for more than 20 years. He is also the convener of Lagos Christian Teachers Conference, Life in the Spirit Conference, Ministry leaders Biblical Worldview Training and others. He is the initiator of Biblical Worldview Discipleship and Training. A specialized discipleship strategy designed to help emerging Christians leaders defeat humanistic philosophies destroying proper biblical Christianity in this postmodern world era. This initiative has both an online version and local discipleship group version. He also served as a missionary with Campus Crusade for Christ for twelve years. He is the author of Worldview Wars, Love and Relationship 101, and numerous Articles and evangelistic tracts. He is married with children.

IS IT RIGHT TO CALL THEM CHRISTIANS?

Can a wife live in deception, relating to her husband dishonestly, and still be considered a true Christian? Can a husband engage in adulterous relationships while living a double life and still be rightly identified as a follower of Christ? I was genuinely surprised when, during a gathering last Sunday, most of the people I addressed answered “yes” to these questions. They argued that there should be no distinction between Christians and non-Christians, claiming that what is seen among believers is no different from what happens among unbelievers. Sadly, this conversation took place in a Christian setting.

This view is deeply troubling. The fact that self-identified Christians could express such an opinion reveals a serious crisis in our understanding of what it truly means to be a Christian. Is someone a Christian merely because they attend church, claim to believe in God, or hold a leadership role? Jesus made it clear that it is not difficult to discern who belongs to Him: “By their fruit you will recognize them…” (Matthew 7:16, NIV). That “fruit” refers to a life of surrender to Christ, where pleasing Him is the supreme priority. The Apostle John echoed this truth when he wrote, “Whoever says, ‘I know him,’ but does not do what he commands is a liar, and the truth is not in that person” (1 John 2:4, KJV).

Anyone who truly follows Jesus must believe this scripture and examine their own life in its light. We should stop labeling those who refuse to obey Christ as fellow Christians. The Bible says such people are not speaking the truth.

What disturbed me most about the responses I heard is the realization that no one can judge above the standard they’ve personally embraced. When people insist that there’s no difference between Christians and non-Christians, it may be because, deep down, they’ve made no genuine commitment to obey Jesus—just like those outside the faith. If that’s the case, then there’s a serious spiritual problem within the Nigerian Church.

It seems that, for many, the ultimate goal—whether believer or non-believer—is material and financial success. In this framework, Jesus becomes just another means to an end, just like charms or superstitions are to others. Success becomes the true lord, and obedience to Christ is only pursued when it supports the pursuit of wealth. But this kind of gospel cannot produce followers of Christ who are truly different from the world. As Apostle Paul warned, “Those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a trap and into many foolish and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil…” (1 Timothy 6:9–10, NIV).

Our commitment must be to Jesus—not to wealth. Otherwise, we risk falling into traps that bring ruin. This doesn’t mean we should avoid hard work. On the contrary, we must work diligently and trust God to bless us financially as part of our faithful service to Him. Laziness does not honor the Lord. Nor does compromising our integrity to survive, especially when God has equipped us with the ability to work and provide. That’s why the Bible says, “If you used to rob, you must stop robbing and start working, in order to earn an honest living for yourself and to be able to help the poor” (Ephesians 4:28, GNB).

God does desire to bless us materially, but we must never confuse material possessions with our true wealth. Real wealth is eternal—it’s what awaits us in God’s Kingdom. One clear sign that earthly wealth isn’t ultimate is this: no one takes it with them when they die. Everything we have belongs to Jesus; we are merely stewards. We must use our resources to fulfill His purposes for our lives. As Scripture reminds us, “For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible… all things have been created through him and for him” (Colossians 1:16, KJV).

As long as material and financial gain remains our top priority, there will be no clear difference between a professing Christian and an unbeliever. But in the midst of today’s materialistic culture, a line is being drawn. This culture will ultimately expose who truly belongs to Jesus and who does not.

Make your allegiance clear. Choose Jesus above all else.

CAN I EVER GET OVER THIS?

It has always intrigued me. How Jesus left the glory and comfort of heaven for a life of suffering and death so that I might be redeemed. This is beyond imagination in a world in which people are always dreaming of more wealth, more comfort and more glory. Now, to make matters even more intriguing, Peter by inspiration of Holy Spirit wrote in 1 Peter 2:21-23 (NKJV)  “For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps: “Who committed no sin, Nor was deceit found in His mouth”; Who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously”.

Am I really supposed to imitate Jesus in these things? Am I ready to give up any legitimate thing so I can accomplish for God something of eternal significance? Which wealth, comfort or glory can I readily lay down? Even if I give up any of these things, is it anything compared to what Christ had to give up for me? It is often easier to give up what is not worth much than to give up what is considered a fortune. This was the difficulty the rich young ruler faced when Jesus asked him to sell all that he has and give to the poor and come and follow Him. The Bible says in Matthew 19:22 (NKJV)  “But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions”.

As I ponder these things, my heart adores my Lord Jesus Christ for His great sacrificial love for me. I don’t need any other reason to be thankful to Him for the rest of my life. I know that He will give me many good things and I will witness His faithfulness in many more ways but every other thing pales in significance when compared to what He did on the cross. The words of the hymn is right on target when it says “There is no other argument, there is no other plea, it is enough that Jesus died and that He died for me”.

In the Old Testament, Habakkuk declared his commitment to joy in the Lord even when there seems to be no reason to do so. He said it so eloquently with these famous words “Though the fig tree may not blossom, Nor fruit be on the vines; Though the labor of the olive may fail, And the fields yield no food; Though the flock may be cut off from the fold, And there be no herd in the stalls—Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation" Habakkuk 3:17-18 (NKJV). However, in the New Testament we never lack a reason for thanksgiving. The fact that Jesus left all in order to die and rise again for our redemption is the greatest reason for thanksgiving. Paul wrote "For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again" 2Co 5:14-15 (NIV).

Thank you Lord Jesus for giving up everything for me. You did for me what the rich young ruler could not do for the poor of his time. Even I, have not been able to do it as I should with consistency yet you did it for me.

THANK YOU LORD FOR YOU LOVED ME AND LEFT ALL TO DIE FOR ME SO THAT I MIGHT HAVE YOUR LIFE.

I PLEDGE MY ALLEGIANCE TO THE LAMB OF GOD THAT TAKES AWAY THE SIN OF THE WORLD 

Written by Ifiok Ukobo

Think Right and Live Right Club & Lifebuilders Resource

IF THIS IS YOUR CHURCH? JESUS IS OUTSIDE

Revelation 3:14–16 (NKJV):
"And to the angel of the church of the Laodiceans write, ‘These things says the Amen, the Faithful and True Witness, the Beginning of the creation of God: I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I could wish you were cold or hot. So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth.’”

We are living in a time that mirrors the condition of the Laodicean church. As we approach the end of the age, the rebuke Jesus gave to that church stands as a prophetic warning to us today. The primary issue they faced—and which we now increasingly face—is spiritual lukewarmness, hidden beneath a facade of religious activity. Christ's words to the Laodiceans serve as a wake-up call to a generation losing its fervor. If we can identify the root causes of this lukewarmness and apply the solution Christ gave, we can guard our lives, families, and churches from falling into the same trap.

What was the root of their problem?
Jesus revealed it clearly:
"Because you say, ‘I am rich, have become wealthy, and have need of nothing’—and do not know that you are wretched, miserable, poor, blind, and naked..." (Revelation 3:17–18 NKJV)

The issue was not wealth itself—God delights in blessing His people. The problem was that they judged their spiritual state using worldly standards. They assumed that material success equaled spiritual health. From their perspective, they had it all. But from Jesus’ perspective, they were destitute. This stark contrast highlights the danger of viewing life through a temporal lens rather than an eternal one.

Your perspective shapes your decisions, values, and priorities. When you see life through the world’s eyes, your conclusions will often oppose Christ’s. The Laodiceans believed they were thriving, but Jesus saw spiritual bankruptcy. They were materially rich but spiritually impoverished. This disconnect happened because they stopped seeing life from Christ’s eternal perspective and adopted the short-sighted values of their generation.

When the Church loses sight of Christ’s perspective, it begins to measure success and greatness the same way the world does. It might still claim to follow Jesus, but its values, pursuits, and message reveal otherwise. Such a church becomes active in programs but passive in devotion, busy in appearance but barren in spirit. They may celebrate worldly accomplishments, but to Jesus, these mean nothing if they hold no eternal value.

The lukewarm churches of the end times will be characterized by a form of false spirituality rooted in worldly thinking. To be “hot” for Christ in these days means to adopt His perspective on everything. Sadly, we often hear even pastors refer to ungodly individuals as “great” simply because they are wealthy. But would Jesus call them great?

Who does Jesus consider great?
Jesus said, “Whoever breaks one of the least of these commandments and teaches others to do the same will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever practices and teaches them will be called great” (Matthew 5:19 NKJV).
He also said, “Whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 18:1, 4 NKJV).

So, greatness in God’s eyes is measured by humility and obedience, not status or wealth.

As followers of Christ, we’ve been rescued from the kingdom of darkness and brought into His kingdom. Why then do many believers still use the values and terminology of the world? There's no such thing as “great in the world” versus “great in the kingdom.” God's definition is the only true one. The moment the Church starts celebrating worldly measures of greatness, it has already begun walking the path of the Laodicean Church.

A worldly mindset will always push Jesus out. That’s why He stood outside the door of the Laodicean Church, knocking and calling for repentance (Revelation 3:19–20). Imagine—Jesus outside His own Church, while those inside boast of His blessings! This only happens when Jesus and His people no longer share the same perspective.

As Christians, we follow Jesus. He is the ultimate expression of God’s heart, and His words are final. What He taught about greatness, marriage, giving, love, and eternal treasure is the standard. We don’t form personal perspectives apart from His. Hebrews 1:1–2 reminds us that God now speaks to us through His Son.

On the Mount of Transfiguration, God made it clear that Jesus is not on the same level as Moses or Elijah. He declared, “This is My beloved Son… Hear Him!” (Matthew 17:5 NKJV). Jesus is the final Word. His teachings even take precedence over the laws given through Moses.

So here’s the question:
Whose lens are you using to view life—Jesus’ or the world’s? Who will bring the Church back to the eternal perspective Jesus taught?

God is counting on you.

As Apostle John wrote:
“These people belong to this world, so they speak from the world's viewpoint, and the world listens to them. But we belong to God; that is why those who know God listen to us. If they do not belong to God, they do not listen to us. That is how we know if someone has the Spirit of truth or the spirit of deception.”
(1 John 4:5–6 NLT)

Written by Ifiok Ukobo
President: Think Right and Live Right Club and Lifebuilders Ministry
Email : tralright@gmail.com

HOW TO PREPARE FOR MARRIAGE

 A good marriage needs a good preparation. Most often people know this as the truth, so they try to prepare for their marriage but most of the time preparations are made in the wrong direction. Many ladies prepare for marriage by accumulating and wearing sexy clothes; such will only attract men of low value in whose eyes sexy clothes is a priority. Some young men work hard to get a good car and the latest gadgets with which to impress ladies around them. In their minds they are certain that with those things they will attract and marry the best. Unknown to them, they will only attract ladies of low worth that have cars and gadgets as their priority. A man once cried out a few months after his wedding saying, “I got married to a personality but now I’ve got to live with a character”.

It is okay to look neat and attractive as you prepare for marriage. It is also okay to work for and get the things you will need for your family, things such as cars and home gadgets. But the greatest and most far reaching preparation you will ever make is a character preparation. A good character is simply a Christ like character. Character preparation is simply a life of striving to conform to Christ in our relationship with others. The Bible says “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30 (NIV).

Why do you need a character preparation? Because it affects your choice of who to marry. You cannot choose above the standard you have embraced for your own life. The standard you have for your life is the standard you will use to judge the person you will marry. If you have a low standard, you will marry a low standard. The key to marrying a good person is that you should first become a good person. God told the elders of Israel that came to Ezekiel to enquire of the Lord that what they will hear from Him will be limited by the idols in their hearts. It is written in Ezekiel 14:4 (NIV), “Therefore speak to them and tell them, 'This is what the Sovereign Lord says: When any Israelite sets up idols in his heart and puts a wicked stumbling block before his face and then goes to a prophet, I the Lord will answer him myself in keeping with his great idolatry”.

Secondly, God has designed life in such a way that what you give is what you are given. Jesus said, "Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure that you use, it will be measured back to you." Luke 6:37-38 (NKJV). Since what you give determines what you receive, you need good character to enjoy your marriage. You will notice that people don’t normally divorce because their spouses are no longer beautiful, handsome or intelligent but because of bad character. Character that is not striving towards Christ likeness will attract more troubles than blessings.

Some people may argue, "we’ve known of very good people that have unfortunately married bad people, therefore since they were good, it couldn’t be their wrong standard that made them marry these bad people." You must understand that there are many people that appear to be good because they were raised in environments that denied them opportunities for evil. Lack of opportunity to act out the evils we would have loved to do does not make us good. Evil exist in the heart and what is in the heart determines who a person is. Jesus said “For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lewdness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within and defile a man." Luke 6:37-38 (NKJV). Therefore true character must be a pursuit of holiness of heart and actions.

How do we acquire good character? The beginning and end of good character is the fear of the Lord. The Bible says “… through the fear of the Lord a man avoids evil.” Proverbs 16:6 (NIV). You fear God when His pleasure is the reason why you  do or not do somethings. Many people may not steal because of the fear of being caught. These kinds of people do not fear God because pleasing God is not their motivation. If the possibility of being caught is removed, they will steal. You must come to the place in which you agree with Apostle Paul statement in 2 Corinthians 5:14-15 (NKJV)  that says, “For the love of Christ compels us, because we judge thus: that if One died for all, then all died; and He died for all, that those who live should live no longer for themselves, but for Him who died for them and rose again”.

Therefore take a positive step today, renounce all hidden things of dishonesty, throw away hypocrisy, deceit and impatience. Make straight path for your feet and the Lord will fight for you and give you a spouse that will truly complement you. As you are preparing yourself to be the best gift to someone, God will cause another person to prepare herself to be the best gift to you.

Character preparation is not the only preparation needed for marriage but a most formidable preparation. We cannot accommodate other preparations in this article because of space. It is almost certain that if you begin a character preparation, you will naturally flow into others preparations needed for a good marriage. This is so because the Bible predicts someone future based on his character. Psalms 37:37 (NKJV) says  “Mark the blameless man, and observe the upright; For the future of that man is peace”.

Written by Ifiok Ukobo
President: Think Right and Live Right Club and Lifebuilders Ministry
Email : tralright@gmail.com

WHAT IF JESUS NEVER CAME

Some people may ask "Why do we celebrate Christmas? What is the big deal about the birth of Jesus Christ." One way to properly understand why we should celebrate the birth of Christ, perhaps more than anything else, is to take a look at what our world and hopes would have been like if Jesus was never born. There is much that could be said about this but for  lack of time, I will limit myself to 8 issues.

If Jesus was never born,...
1. History would not have been what it is today. For the history of the world is divided into BC and AD meaning ‘Before Christ’ and ‘In the year of our Lord’ (Latin: Anno Domini) respectively. Imagine the world in which the past cannot be properly documented. The coming of Jesus was one most important event that became the reference point for understanding history. If Jesus was never born, we would have had difficulty organizing history.

2. If Jesus was never born, modern science would have been a mirage. The birth of Jesus brought us the bible that gave us the foundational truth about creation. This made further research productive because they were done with correct primary assumptions informed by the scriptures. When modern science was born in 16th and 17th century, it was given birth to by men who believed in Christ and had a biblical worldview. Almost all branches of modern science were started by men who were devoted to Jesus. In the words of Johannes Kepler who was a great Christian astronomer, they were simply “thinking God’s thoughts after Him.” They knew Jesus as an orderly God who created an orderly universe and it was their role as scientist to seek out what those rules are and use them to manage creation. If Jesus was never born the primary understanding that made science possible would not have been there and modern science would have been very different.

3. If Jesus was never born, education for the masses may never materialize. The Great Commission (i.e. the command to teach all nations) given by our Lord Jesus Christ to His followers resulted in Mass Education where ever Christianity entered. Christianity has brought literacy to hundreds of millions of people of all sorts of languages. Education for the elites has always been there but it was the commission of Jesus that spurred the Christian church to make education available for all. The first twelve schools in Nigeria were all Church schools. Out of the first 50 secondary schools in Nigeria, the church built 36. Today, literally, all the world famous universities were established as Christian centres of learning. They include Universities like Oxford, Harvard, Yale and Princeton. Many of the indigenous languages around the world were first written by Christian missionaries. The Yoruba language was first written by Bishop Ajayi Crowther. If Christ was never born, many of us today would not have had access to modern education.

4. It was the teachings of Jesus that brought about a high respect for human life. Before Christ was born, the world was a very dangerous place to live in. It was normal practice to throw away unwanted babies, plenty babies were part of everyday refuse found at the refuse sites and people were killed everywhere for sport. Christians ended all that by following the golden rule, a teaching of Jesus that says “Do to others as you will have them do to you.” It was the agitation of christian missionaries in the 1830s that stopped the practice called Suttee in India. A practice where the widow of a deceased husband was burnt alive with the body of the husband at his funeral. It was the Christian missionary Mary Slessor that stopped the killing of the twins in Calabar. If Christ was never born killing of twins and burning of widows may have continued till date.

5. William Wilberforce was moved by the teachings of Jesus to devote his entire life to the abolition of slave trade. He gathered together like minded people to seek to stop more slaves from being brought into the British empire for 25 years. Later, on his death bed he received the news that his lifelong ambition to stop slavery has succeeded in the British parliament.  The notion that everyman was born equal before God came from the teachings of the scripture that says we are all created in the image of God. If Christ was never born, slavery would have continued today.

6. Christ coming and His teachings had a direct impact on the way the culture of charity, compassion and care for the poor and needy in the world has evolved. People moved by the teachings of Christ established charitable organizations such as the Salvation Army and Red Cross which has saved millions of lives from famine, natural disasters and war across the world. The love of Christ has motivated people like Mother Theresa to spend all of her life caring for the poor in India. If Christ was never born, lives saved by these organizations would have been wasted.

7. Modern hospital care is traceable to the compassion of Christ manifested through the first nurse, Florence Nightingale. Before, when people were sick of contagious diseases, they were considered to be cursed and taken away from home, away from other human beings and left alone to die. Florence carried them into one place and cared for them until they recover. Many other people moved by the compassion of Christ joined Florence to take care of the sick. They responded to the rebuke of Christ that says Matthew 25:43, 45 (NKJV)  "I was a stranger and you did not take Me in, naked and you did not clothe Me, sick and in prison and you did not visit Me... Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me." What Florence Nightingale did was the beginning of what we call hospital today. If Christ was never born, nothing would have inspired Florence to risk her life to care for the sick and modern hospitals would not have evolved from it.

8. Jesus made forgiveness of sin, hope of eternal life and relationship with the Father possible. When humans relationship with God was based on human merit, no one was good enough to earn salvation. But the birth of Jesus and His sacrificial death on the cross for us changed all that. Now through faith in Him, our sins are forgiven, we receive eternal life and can now relate with God through His own merit.
These are a few of what we would have missed if Jesus was never born. Today we thank God and celebrate the fact that He was born, the world is a better place because of Him and we are beneficiaries of His birth.

Written by Ifiok Ukobo
President: Think Right and Live Right Club and Lifebuilders Ministry
Email : tralright@gmail.com

AM I BORN AGAIN? I feel something is missing

               Have you ever written exams and afterwards have this strange feeling that you have failed? In many cases you are even afraid to go and check the result. The reason is that you are not confident that what you wrote in the exams has met the requirement of the examiners; as a result there is this strange feeling that you have not made the mark.
               In the same way, you may have heard about Jesus and his desire to do you good. You like many others may have responded to the call to give your life to Christ so that you may enjoy the good that Jesus has to offer you. You may have prayed by yourself or a pastor prayed for you or both. Yet to your dismay, your life has remained the same. Your tastes and appetites remain the same. The things you pursued in life and the sins you enjoyed committing before the prayer to give your life to Christ remain attractive to you. You know that this cannot be God’s standard of righteousness, you are therefore filled with fear each time you hear about the coming of Jesus or the possibility of death. You don’t honestly know the judgment God has for you after this life. The biblical report that “if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come” is yet to come true in your life.
                What is it that is missing in your conversion? Why is your conversion experience different from that of people in the bible? The answer to these questions are one. It is lack of biblical repentance from sin and faith in the Lord Jesus. The bible says, “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death” (2Co 7:10 NIV). True repentance involves experience of grieve in our heart about our sins against God. When we truly see that we have caused Jesus much grief through our lives of sin despite his suffering for us on the cross, then we feel grief for our foolishness. True repentance involves the knowledge of the fact that you are a sinner, owing God debts of obedience which you can never finish paying and the penalty for the debt is death. Your debt has temporarily separated you from God waiting for eternal separation in hell. But God in His love did not want you to perish in your dept so He decided to pay your debt for you. Jesus paid your debt by living a life of complete obedience and taking your place to die on the cross. True repentance involves appreciating this love of God, turning away from your sins and putting your faith in Him for your eternal salvation. It involves confession of the sins you have committed to God as much as you can remember and asking him in prayers for forgiveness. It involves returning things you have stolen, asking forgiveness from those you have wronged and beginning to do the right where you have been accustomed to do evil. Lastly, true repentance involves a quality decision to live for Jesus and not self.
                You may say that you did not know these things before. If you are right then the time to repent in truth is now. The bible says “In the past God overlooked such ignorance, but now he commands all people everywhere to repent. For he has set a day when he will judge the world with justice by the man he has appointed. He has given proof of this to all men by raising him from the dead.” (Act 17:30-31). 
If you chose to repent now, God will accept you, transform and make you his child. Jesus will say to you what he said to Zaccheaus (the man in the bible who repented in a similar fashion), “Today salvation has come to this house.” (Luke 19:9) If you desire to pray the prayer of repentance, your prayer to God should acknowledge
That you have sinned (Confessed all the sins you can remember to God). That you are turning away from your sin (tell God the kind of change you desire). That you want God to forgive your sins. (Ask God to make you clean in his sight). That you are submitting yourself to Jesus as your Lord and Saviour. (Offer yourself to God to serve him as your master and Lord)

You can pray now.

Yours truthfully

Ifiok Ukobo
For further counselling and help contact
THINK RIGHT AND LIVE RIGHT CLUB
0802 333 1970, 0805 395 1808, 0805 384 7685
Email: tralright@yahoo.com, tralright@gmail.com

RESOLVE GENERATIONAL CURSES IN 5 MINUTES

On God's part, all generational curses has been rendered inoperative in Christ Jesus. When you repented of your sin and made Jesus Christ the Lord of your life, you automatically became a chosen generation and no longer a cursed generation. "But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light." 1Peter 2:9 (NKJV). Your inheritance of blessings and curses ceased to be from your parents but from Christ Jesus. "In Him also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestined according to the purpose of Him who works all things according to the counsel of His will." Ephesians 1:11 (NKJV).  Therefore, all your generational curses are broken in Christ. "13 Christ has redeemed us from the curse of the law, having become a curse for us (for it is written, "Cursed is everyone who hangs on a tree"), 14 that the blessing of Abraham might come upon the Gentiles in Christ Jesus, that we might receive the promise of the Spirit through faith." Galatians 3:13-14 (NKJV). This is the New Covenant law for Kingdom citizens.

You might ask, but why am I experiencing the same battles or challenges that my parents and grandparents experienced. If this is not generational curse, what is it? Remember that Satan is a thief who comes to steal, kill and destroy. The afflictions he placed upon your parents, he wants it to continue with you. Not because generational curses are still in force but because as a criminal, he does not respect heaven's edict that abolished generational curses until forced to do so. He is simply a rebel, practicing on you that which God has already ruled illegal. The good news is that God has given you authority and power to make him obey heaven's edict on the matter.

If you are born again, you have been made a king. The bible says concerning our Lord Jesus, “And hath made us kings and priests unto God and his Father; to him be glory and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.” Rev 1:6 (KJV). Therefore you have received the authority to exercise dominion. If you are baptized in the Holy Spirit, you have received power to enforce your authority. You are God's policeman to arrest and stop the illegal activities of that criminal called Satan. The bible says “…what you prohibit on earth will be prohibited in heaven, and what you permit on earth will be permitted in heaven.” Mat 18:18 (GNB). The responsibility is not on God but on you to act. The Holy Spirit is in you to help you if you choose to act.  All that it takes is for you to believe and act in obedience.

You act in obedience by resisting the devil. The scripture says to resist the devil. “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” Jas 4:7 (KJV). If you will not only be a hearer of the word deceiving yourself but a doer of the word then God will do the work. You become a doer of the word by obeying the command to resist the devil and God will do the work by bringing about result. Start obeying the word.

Some may ask, where and how do you see the devil to resist him? You catch the devil through his acts. Jesus was dealing with the devil when he went about doing good and healing all that were oppressed of the devil. When thoughts that are contrary to scripture drop into your mind, that's the devil. Resist that thought by refusing to dwell on it. Speak out to renounce and replace it with the word of God. When a sickness comes on you, that's the devil. Refuse to accommodate the sickness in your mind, rather think on the scriptures that promise you good health. When your children are leaving the faith, that’s the devil. When you seem weak and unable to overcome sinful habits and addictions that's the devil. You resist him by standing on the promises of God, renouncing Satan's desires over your life and refusing to believe you are helpless.

If you are born again, you have both the authority and warrant to arrest that criminal called Satan. If you are baptized in the Holy Spirit, you possess the power to enforce your authority. Therefore, claim and stand on what the word of God says concerning that thing and at the same time rebuke and destroy the works of the devil in that area of your life. You can't lose if you don't give up. If you are not born again or you are not sure whether you are born again, click here for help.

Notice also that God is not the one putting generational curses on people. God said in  Jeremiah 31:29-30 (NKJV)   “29 In those days they shall say no more: 'The fathers have eaten sour grapes, And the children's teeth are set on edge.'  30 But every one shall die for his own iniquity; every man who eats the sour grapes, his teeth shall be set on edge." Those days have come in the New Covenant and God is not putting any curse on you. On the other hand, the devil derives pleasure from continuing bondage from generation to generation. So the devil is your enemy, he is the one you are dealing with. The bible makes it clear in 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NKJV) that we have a completely new deal in Christ.  “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new."

Your future is not based on what you inherited from your parents but what you inherited from Jesus. “In whom also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestinated according to the purpose of him who worketh all things after the counsel of his own will” Eph 1:11 (KJV). You are a new man in Christ but if you don't renew your mind in the word, you aren't putting on the new man. We are charged in Ephesians 4:22-24 (NKJV)  “22 that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts,  23 and be renewed in the spirit of your mind,  24 and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness." You have to believe it and let it renew your mind by thinking in line with it, before the new man in you can manifest.

What about going to the village to pray at the family compound, look for strange object buried in the ground, etc., in order to destroy your link to the past? If that is always necessary for our freedom, Jesus would have recommended it to at least one of the people he ministered to.  But in all cases of healings and deliverances, the people’s problems terminated with their encounter with Jesus Christ. Your generational problems too will terminate the moment you believe what Jesus did for you and act on it without retreating. The Apostles also were used of God to usher many into the freedom that Christ bought for us. They ministered in many Gentile territories that were known for worshiping plethora of gods.  Yet there is no evidence of one of them advocating for going home to do family deliverance. If there was anything Paul said about the past it is this "No, dear brothers and sisters, I am still not all I should be, but I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead." (Philippians 3:13).   I suggest that we should do the same thing.

Some argue that some people had results going home to do those kinds of deliverance. They may have had some relief perhaps but not freedom. You must understand that walking in freedom is not possible without operating in the truth. Results of relief is not always a validation of method or theology but God actions of love for the hurting people. This is why some will say to God on the last day, we healed and prophesied in your name and God will say to them, depart from me ye workers of iniquity. They had what appeared to be results but they were wrong in interpreting it to mean that God had accepted their lawless lifestyles. God is love and is constantly looking for how to do loving things to his people.

Let no one make merchandize of you in the name of breaking generational curses. Your curses were borne by Jesus on the cross on your behalf. Faith in Him makes what He did to be credited to your account. Submit to God by believing His word then resist the devil and he will flee from you.

Written by Ifiok Ukobo

If you need help in overcoming the devil, you can reach me through the email: tralright@yahoo.com

CONTEND OR BE DEFEATED

         If you are a true Christian, you are contending against some doctrinal errors where ever you may be living. If everything looks okay to you and there is nothing to contend for, watch it, the possibilities are that you have been deceived. Wrong teachings have become mainstream and dominant in such a way that no true Christian can remain true without fighting hard to retain what was originally given to us by Jesus Christ and His Apostles. The root of this error in many cases has been a corrupted doctrine of grace.
        These errors are not new. As early as 90AD, Jude had noticed with grieve of heart that the truth of the faith is being corrupted by some teachers in the Church. He therefore wrote  in Jude 1:3-4 (NKJV) "...exhorting you to contend earnestly for the faith which was once for all delivered to the saints. For certain men have crept in unnoticed, who long ago were marked out for this condemnation, ungodly men, who turn the grace of our God into lewdness and deny the only Lord God and our Lord Jesus Christ."
         This is a command to Christians of every generation to contend for the truth of the gospel that was delivered to the saints. What does it mean to contend? It simply means to struggle or exert oneself to obtain or retain possession of,  the body of Truth of the gospel that was once and for all delivered to the saints. We are not only to contend for the truth but do so earnestly, that is, seriously with sincere and intense conviction without fear nor apology. Some people may say you are judging others when doing this but the word of God says contend earnestly for the faith that was once and for all delivered to the saints.
            Why is this contending necessary according to this scripture? Because Satan is using some people to corrupt the Church by distorting the doctrine of grace, turning it into lewdness. Notice that the foundation of the error according to the passage in Jude rest on a wrong understanding and application of the doctrine of grace. In Jude's words, these people are those "who turn the grace of our God into lewdness". How do they do this? Through their teachings. Their teachings about the grace of God motivate in their hearers responses that are inclined to, characterized by, or inciting to lust or lechery, obscene or indecent.
             Apostle Peter warned that these teachers will become regular in the last days. He wrote in 2 Peter 2:1-3, 14, 18 (KJV) "1 But there were false prophets also among the people, even as there shall be false teachers among you, who privily shall bring in damnable heresies, even denying the Lord that bought them, and bring upon themselves swift destruction. 2 And many shall follow their pernicious ways; by reason of whom the way of truth shall be evil spoken of. 3 And through covetousness shall they with feigned words make merchandise of you: whose judgment now of a long time lingereth not, and their damnation slumbereth not. 14 Having eyes full of adultery, and that cannot cease from sin; beguiling unstable souls: an heart they have exercised with covetous practices; cursed children: 18 For when they speak great swelling words of vanity, they allure through the lusts of the flesh, through much wantonness, those that were clean escaped from them who live in error."
            These people are able to continue in the path of destruction because they choose to remember only the goodness of God. The love and goodness of God is something we must constantly keep before us so the enemy may not deceive us to seek relationship with God based on our merits rather the finished work of Christ. However, the bible teaches us to "Therefore consider the goodness and severity of God: on those who fell, severity; but toward you, goodness, if you continue in His goodness. Otherwise you also will be cut off." Romans 11:22 (NKJV). In other words, to stay in the truth and enjoy the grace of God without the error of succumbing to lewdness, we must keep before us not only the goodness but also the severity of God. Any attempt to focus only on the goodness of God to the omission of the severity of God will lead to lewdness.
          Consequently, Jude said to all who cared to listen, "But I want to remind you, though you once knew this, that the Lord, having saved the people out of the land of Egypt, afterward destroyed those who did not believe." Jude 1:5 (NKJV). These things are quoted in the epistles and other New Testament scriptures because they are relevant to us who are in the New Covenant relationship with God. God does not address issues that do not exist.  The Times call for you to earnestly contend for the faith or be deceived into condemnation.

TRANSFORMATIONAL EDUCATION

                                       Transformational Education
                                                       By
                                               Ifiok Ukobo
All education promotes values whether it was intended to or not. Often, asymmetric relationship between teachers and students mean that secular thought patterns embedded in the curriculum is the only voice permitted in the classroom. But there is another reality waiting for the child at the close of the school day, a reality taught at home, lived within the community and assumed in every transaction. A reality that is intrinsically African. A reality they readily fall back on in moments of crisis, confusion, and frustration. At such times, the classroom voice and the values it postulated ceases to have any effect. The chicken has come home to roost as they say, and the only voice being heard is that of the culture. What we had invested years to acquire has now, in a moment given way to that which is culturally African. Can this be the reason our public officers can deliver papers that are by western standard excellent yet cannot implement same in their countries? What would have been the result if the voice in the classroom was not opposed to the values and culture of the African, but rather utilized them to give contextualized education. What if education was made to be culturally relevant?

We need to examine the values promoted by education in Africa over the years to ascertain their appropriateness for building African communities. My observation is that education given in Africa, has not promoted nor replicated values that are in tandem with the social and cultural identity of the African. Our sense of community and awareness of the Holy is constantly assaulted. We Africans are being conditioned to think and appreciate family, relationships, gender roles, beauty and community like westerners. Western styled living, appreciation of life and values are presented as the ideal. It has become the norm that local innovations and creations must be appreciated abroad first before it can be appreciated locally. It has always intrigued me that Mongo Park, an English man was credited for the discovery of River Niger even though the locals were the ones showing him around and ferrying him in their boats. A more disturbing issue is the fact that this position was taught to our children in schools for decades. This kind of education tends to communicate the values of passivity, low expectations concerning one’s potential and capabilities to our children. Consequently, our youths have been condition to always expect salvation from abroad. The result is an African identity crises that condition a perpetual policy failure rooted in mistaking westernization for development.

Can the universality of Education be asserted and preserved without insisting on customs and values that are adversarial to our identity as Bible believing Christians and Africans? The answer should certainly be yes. We do not need to become secular Europeans to be educated. Questions such as "Does education modify culture or culture modifies education" are often misleading and need not be our concern? Such questions seem to put up education against culture, a fight that neither can win. It might be more helpful to seek ways education can be made to be more culturally relevant and contextually effective. In this way education and culture can be partners in progress.

IS IT CONDEMNATION OR CONVICTION?|Don't Make a Shipwreck of Your Faith

         I recently participated in an online interaction over the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ and the issue of self-condemnation came up. It was almost a unanimous belief that when you feel bad about your sin, it amount to self-condemnation. And that such a self-condemnation will keep you from faith for the supernatural, confidence to achieve and boldness to enter God's presence and receive what God has for you.

        I agree that self-condemnation will do all that are stated above but what exactly is self-condemnation? Does feeling bad about our sin amount to self-condemnation? Inability to properly define what self-condemnation is has created a situation where people, in an attempt to stop self-condemnation have inadvertently killed their consciences. They have mistaken the voice of conviction for condemnation and have become incorrigible. Such are people today who are very loud about the power of God, manifestations of the gifts of the Holy Spirit and the finished work of Christ but completely ungodly in their business, relationships and pleasures.

        Some time ago I came in contact with a man who leads a house fellowship in a ministry that teaches against self-condemnation in ways I consider to be false. This man wanted to relocate to a western country and become a citizen of that country. His strategy for fulfilling his dream was to divorce his wife in Nigeria and travel out, on arrival marry a citizen of that country in order to become a citizen and eventually divorce the second wife, remarry his first wife and bring her to live with him. To my surprise, his wife accepted the plan. They both saw nothing wrong in divorcing each other, deceiving another person into an ill motivated marriage and telling lies to the authorities. Their consciences have been seared through a constant training that labelled any form of conviction as condemnation. Their faith was anchored on the word in Romans 8:1 but without the concluding part that demands a walk in the Spirit. That scripture says "There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit." (NKJV). Is their attitude and conduct a true representation of what this passage teaches?

        The Bible teaches that a Holy Spirit ruled conscience is what God uses to convict or make Christians know that they have sinned against God. Paul in his letter to the Romans said in Romans 9:1 "I am speaking the truth; I belong to Christ and I do not lie. My conscience, ruled by the Holy Spirit, also assures me that I am not lying". When a Christian realizes that he has sinned, that is not a condemnation but a witness from his conscience. When he accepts it, it provokes in him a godly sorrow that makes him carry his sins to God for cleansing. If he rejects it, it becomes in him a bad conscience that will eventually lead to a shipwreck of his faith.  The Bible says in 1 Timothy 1:19 (GNB) "and keep your faith and a clear conscience. Some people have not listened to their conscience and have made a ruin of their faith".

         Now you can't just help but feel bad when you realize that you have sinned against the person you really love. This is what godly sorrow is all about. Jesus taught us that obedience to His commandment is the way to show Him love. It is written in black and white in John 14:15 (NKJV)  "If you love Me, keep My commandments." Therefore when you are sorrowful, it means you are unhappy about the fact that you have sinned against God whom you love. This is not self-condemnation at all. Apostle Paul taught in 2 Corinthians 7:10 (NKJV) "For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death." So godly sorrow is good because it leads to salvation. It is a sorrow that point you to Jesus as the solution. It is a sorrow that ends in joy, believing that all our sins have been forgiven through the finished work of Christ.

          In 1 John 1:9 (NKJV) God said that "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Understand that confession is not a condition for forgiveness of sin but a condition for receiving the forgiveness already secured by Christ Jesus through His sacrifice on the cross. However, the word confession (omologōmen in Greek) means to speak the same, to agree. By requesting confession of sins as a prerequisite for experiencing forgiveness, God is simply saying, if you refuse to accept the conviction of your conscience that what you did was wrong, you cannot benefit from the forgiveness that has already been bought for you. Walking together in fellowship is what the Lord want to have with us. However, we can't have that if we are not in agreement. God asked through Prophet Amos in Amos 3:3 (NKJV)  "Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?" Sin is missing the mark or the way while confession is God's method of making us rediscover the mark and the way and come back to  it.

          Therefore, confession is not sin consciousness neither is godly sorrow a form of condemnation. If we become aware of our sin, feel bad about what we have done but refuse to confess and accept the forgiveness that Jesus has purchased for us, then we are into self-condemnation. Self-condemnation is a worldly sorrow because it is rooted in pride that exalt our opinion above the written word of God. If we have confessed our sins and God in His word says He has forgiven us, then our problem is prideful believe in ourselves rather than the word of God. When we exalt the opinion of man, including ourselves, higher than the word of God, we can't have faith. Jesus upbraided the Pharisees in John 5:44 (NKJV)  "How can you believe, who receive honor from one another, and do not seek the honor that comes from the only God?" So, self-condemnation is rooted in pride. Rather than destroying our conscience, let's deal with our pride and humble ourselves under the mighty hand of God. Let's believe the word and live it out.

          What will be your attitude to these two offenders? You rebuked the first one for accusing you falsely and he simply said, "sorry,  if what i did was wrong". You rebuked the second person for the same offense and he said "You are right. It was wrong of me to accuse you before verifying the report. I am sorry to have spoilt you name and hurt your feelings. Please forgive me". Which of the two will you readily accept as truly repentant? Which of the two will you readily restore friendship?


Conclusion
Do not let men destroy your ability to keep good conscience by telling you that conviction of conscience is condemnation. Test the conviction of conscience with the word of God. If you have gone against the commandment of God, repent, confess your sins to God, claim your forgiveness in Jesus name and continue with a good conscience.

written by Ifiok J. Ukobo

LOVE & RELATIONSHIP 101 | Setting the right foot forward

Many relationships that were desired for happiness have often ended in emotional tragedies, heart break and frustration. Many have blamed the myriads of problems noticed in this area to lack of compatibility between the couples or would be couples. Is incompatibility really the problem? What about Hollywood actors and actresses that marry their colleagues in the same profession, with the same taste in fashion, movies, music and romance etc. one would suppose that they should be the last persons to divorce, yet realities point to a different conclusion. Some recent happenings in this area will suffice us. For more download the eBook Love & Relationship 101 | Setting the right foot forward.

Love and Relationship 101 is available as a free eBook guaranteed to help answer some of the most difficult questions concerning intimacy and your sexuality. Download your copy here, read it thoroughly and sign the covenant of purity card below. I will personally call to pray with you when you submit your signed form below. God bless you.

DOWNLOAD LOVE AND RELATIONSHIP 101 

COVENANT CARD FOR LOVE & RELATIONSHIP 101

Believing that God’s kind of love is the highest expression of God’s love and character, and it is worked out through obedience to His command that we should abstain from all forms of sexual immorality and pursue purity of heart and conduct. I am determined under God to abstain from all forms of sexual immorality and pursue purity of heart and conduct and wait for sex in a marriage relationship. Please pastor Ifiok, pray with me.

I will call you and pray personally with you when you submit this card. God bless you.

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WE MISSED IT: IT WAS NOT A VICTORY

It was a Sunday morning. The sun shone brightly and it resonated with my heart. God is going to save some people today. Just the thought of it stirred some excitement in me. I had prayed for this day and my expectations were high. I finally arrived at the Church I was to preach. The atmosphere was warm and there was a significant youth population. We sang and danced and it was glorious. Just then, the pastor called for those that had testimonies. Quite a few came out to share their testimonies. As I listened to testimony after testimony, it struck me so clear, these people are treating purchase of a new car, acquisition of a new home, winning of contracts, acquisition of an academic degree, promotion at the place of work, etc as their victory. Are these things really our victory or are they our blessings? Is there any difference between the two? Do these things in themselves have value in eternity?

It was not the first time I  heard it. Everywhere, stuffs are being celebrated as victory. A new house, new car, new jobs are celebrated as victory.  But Jesus said in Revelation 3:5 (NKJV)  "He who overcomes shall be clothed in white garments, and I will not blot out his name from the Book of Life; but I will confess his name before My Father and before His angels.” If we take these words from Jesus seriously, we will need to ask, is acquisition of a new house or car the victory that will clothe one with white and prevent ones name from being deleted from the book of life? How many financial breakthroughs, escape from death, promotion in our career, etc. will qualify us as overcomers? Could our victory be about something else, something that we do not commonly celebrate as victory, yet in the eyes of Jesus that is true victory?

Since it is overcomers or the victorious that will be in heaven, it follows that it is those that have been overcome or defeated that will be found in Hell. Hell is for failures and the defeated while heaven is for the victorious and overcomers. Jesus made it clear to us that people can gain the whole world yet are losers in hell. In Mark 8:36 (NKJV) Jesus said "For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?" In other words, gaining the whole world is not victory in the eyes of Jesus. Buying a new house, gaining promotion in career or winning a mighty contract are not victories in Jesus eyes because they have no value in eternity. However, what you use your house to do, has value in eternity and can be a victory for you. If you use your house to serve the Lord, it will be a victory for you. If you use your cars to serve the Lord, it will be a victory for you. We are all stewards of what God has given us. When we use what we have been given to serve God who is the owner, we are victorious. However, Satan want us to serve self. The entire world system is designed for serving self. If we fall into the trap of serving self, we have been defeated by the world. 

So, what we overcome as children of God is not primarily poverty, sickness or death but the world. The bible says in 1 John 5:4 (NKJV)  "For whatever is born of God overcomes the world. And this is the victory that has overcome the world--our faith." Our victory is a strong faith in Jesus that overcomes the system of doing and valuing things called the WORLD.  Jesus also overcame this system of doing and valuing things called the world. He said in John 16:33 (NKJV)  "These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."

The world is a system of doing and valuing things that is organized in opposition to the Lordship of Jesus Christ. Satan's strategy is to use everything at his disposal to pressure you into accepting the world's way of doing and valuing things. Your financial difficulties, delays in getting someone to marry, ungodly conditions for promotion, sickness and disease, lack of suitable accommodation, unfair treatment at work, difficulty in getting university admission or job, are all tools Satan wants to use to get you to bow to the world system of doing and valuing things. Your victory therefore is in staying true to Jesus and refusing to bow to the world. This is the true victory that heaven acknowledges. This is what Jesus want us to see and accept as victory. He or she that overcomes this world system, is an overcomer and is born of God.

Therefore, those that enjoy promotion after compromising their faith have been defeated. Those that got someone hooked for marriage after submitting to fornication have been defeated. Those that got contracts after bribing officials have been defeated. Those that got houses after an illegal deal have been defeated. Their defeat is not in their desire for these things but in submitting to the system of the world in order to have them, that system that invite us to prioritize for the pleasure of self over the pleasure of God. Fortunately all is not lost, they can come back into winning ways if they repent and start obeying Jesus as their Lord.

According to the scriptures, the entire world system is controlled by three things, Lust of the Flesh, Lust of the Eyes and Pride of Life. When one is overcome by these things, that person cannot have the love of the Father in him rather it is the love of self that will prevail. This is why we are commanded, “Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not in them. For everything in the world--the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life--comes not from the Father but from the world.” (1Jn 2:15-16 NIV).


As those that are truly born of God, let’s celebrate telling the truth more than buying a car. Let’s celebrate integrity more than wealth.  Let’s promote kindness more than purchases. Let’s celebrate humility above worldly status. Let’s promote sexual purity above wedding glamour. Let’s celebrate the day we were born again above the day we were born in the flesh, for what is born of flesh is flesh but what is born of Spirit is spirit. Let’s reprogram ourselves using heaven’s value system. It is then that the Church victory over the world will manifest with a brilliance that will make nations arise to the brightness of our arising. God bless you.

Written by Ifiok J. Ukobo