You’re sharing God’s viewpoint on a matter, and the person you’re talking to says, “Let’s be practical—don’t spiritualize everything.” When I hear Christians speak like this, I can’t help but wonder—if we’re not supposed to spiritualize it, are we meant to carnalize it instead?
Most times, when someone says, “Let’s be practical,” what they actually mean is, “Let’s look at this from the perspective of our five senses—what we can see, hear, touch, taste, and smell.” In other words, “Let’s stay grounded in what makes sense to us as physical beings.” But that’s precisely what it means to be carnal—being dominated by the senses. That doesn’t make us more human; it simply reveals we’re being unspiritual. Scripture says plainly:
“To be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.” — Romans 8:6 (KJV)
One area where this carnal mindset is especially damaging is in love and relationships.
My wife and I were invited to minister in a church a few years ago on the subject of marriage. I spoke to husbands about loving their wives—not because their wives are always lovable, but because it’s a command from God. I explained that obedience to this command pleases God, invites His peace into the marriage, and stores up eternal rewards. The message to both husbands and wives was simple: Don’t treat your spouse based on what they deserve, but based on your obedience to God. This way, your response becomes a product of your reverence for God—not a reflection of your partner’s failures.
This mindset frees us to look past our spouse’s shortcomings and focus on what God requires of us. And husbands must take the lead in this. Scripture says:
“The head of every man is Christ…” — 1 Corinthians 11:3 (NKJV)
So if Christ is a man’s head, then Christ—not his wife’s behavior—should guide his actions. Whoever determines your response has become your head. When men reject Christ’s headship, they lose the authority to lead their homes.
Likewise, the Bible instructs wives:
“Submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” — Ephesians 5:22 (KJV)
Again, this submission is not based on whether the husband is deserving but flows from obedience to God. When both spouses respond to each other out of fear and reverence for God, their marriage becomes a glimpse of heaven on earth.
During that church service, someone asked, “What should I do about my wife? When I married her, she was slim and beautiful. Now she’s as big as a young elephant!” The crowd laughed, but I simply replied, “Love your wife as Christ loved the Church.” Thinking I misunderstood him, he repeated the question. I gave him the same answer. At this point, he was visibly irritated and said, “You’re just spiritualizing this!”
For him, loving his wife when his senses weren’t pleased was unrealistic. But what he failed to understand is this: once you're born again, you’re no longer just a physical being. You are a spiritual man, and your choices must be led by the Spirit—not your senses.
“That which is born of the flesh is flesh; and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.” — John 3:6 (KJV)
And again:
“He that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit.” — 1 Corinthians 6:17 (KJV)
If sticking to Scripture means you’re “spiritualizing things,” then so be it. There’s nothing wrong with a spiritual person acting spiritually. In fact, that’s the way to life and peace. What’s dangerous is a spiritual person thinking and acting carnally. That brings death—death to relationships, death to morality, death to the abundant life Jesus came to give.
“It is the spirit that quickeneth; the flesh profiteth nothing.” — John 6:63 (KJV)
God’s Word reveals the spiritual position on all matters. The “flesh” in this context refers to the body and soul trained by sin to be governed by the senses. If you want to experience the life Jesus promised, your body and soul must come under the discipline of the Spirit.
Now imagine that man chose to love his wife unconditionally out of obedience to God. That act of spiritual obedience would invite life and peace into his home. It would open the door for God to work in his wife’s heart—even regarding her weight.
“For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.” — Philippians 2:13 (NIV)
This principle applies to every part of our lives—career, marriage, fashion, politics, even science. If you are born again, you are a spiritual being. Walk in the Spirit or you’ll end up satisfying the desires of the flesh. Evaluate all things through a biblical lens. That’s the only way to live in true peace.
Prayer and fasting are powerful—but without walking in the Spirit, they yield little fruit. A spiritual person should live with only one perspective—God’s. All other viewpoints that oppose it must be cast aside.
Let’s restore life and peace in our homes, churches, and communities. Don’t carnalize it—spiritualize it.
“For we walk by faith, not by sight.” — 2 Corinthians 5:7 (KJV)
written by Ifiok J. Ukobo
